I’m addicted to power

Hello, my name is Barack Obama (I think) and I’m addicted to power.

I came to this meeting to admit my addiction is uncontrollable and I need help. Actually, some tell me that the ones who really need help are those under my power and authority. Well, I have no reason to believe that or any reason to relinquish any power I have over them. See I can’t help it. It is really not my narcissistic personality that is at fault.

It must be the people’s fault. First they elected me, then as I exercised more and more executive power, they continually asked me for more. Why even the Congress applauded my plans to make them irrelevant if I did not get my way. They cheered and people told me they want to see more executive abuse. I tried to inform them that it really wasn’t my style, but they convinced me to take every opportunity I’m given to usurp more power, control, and abuse my authority.

So I am not to blame. It was my genuine desire to take my foot off the throats of the people, and off the neck of America. But it is so enjoyable that I must have more and more. Since that is the wish of the people as well, I admit it is an offer I cannot refuse.

I know they want me to be the permanent King of Amerika, too. I cannot let them down. I just want everyone to know this was not my idea, they made me do it.

Since Power Anonymous is such a small exclusive club, I will continue to come here to keep you abreast of my feelings. It’s what others call accountability. Well, some stragglers see my hunger for power as a problem, for some reason, but I don’t know why? So I am assuaging them by continuing to come to these “therapy sessions”.

Thank you.