While Obama is still drafting his book, I’ll practice my satire in writing what should be his preface, if only someone slipped him a dose of truth serum. One thing you can count on is that his finished excuse-a-log won’t look like this. (unless you read between lines)
To the reader
After wearing the nom de plume of President of the United States for eight years like no one else ever– because I’ve always been sort of confused about my real name anyway — I feel I owe it to the people, who had the pleasure of putting me in that office, to tell them how right they were to bestow their blind allegiance in me.
They, and you the reader, will be eternally the better for it. Always keep believing.
No longer being able to use that particular POTUS title will not stop me from showing the same arrogance and narcissism that I always… well, that got me this far.
To prove how correct I am, my first big speaking engagement is set at 400 thousand, and the price will only go up from there. My book deal commanded an historic 60 million for my and Michele’s books. And what a bargain they got. I feel obligated to tell you in case you were surprised at the size of the number. I’m projected to be on course to being worth about 250 million in 15 years — by conservative estimates.
It was always my opinion that I should tell you what I think you need to know. And being that I have been entrusted with the sole liberty to write the history of this country, everything else should be ignored. You also should really appreciate the modest price of this book because only I know how much I spent creating it.
Now that I think of it, his version of murdering the truth will probably be far worse. But his sycophants will lap it up because to admit his allergy to the truth, at this point, destroys the gigantic myth of his entire legacy.
RightRing | Bullright