Gaseous Alert: S. Florida Area

Breaking….I have a real news alert. And they wonder why people are outraged.

From the Fox News 13 affiliate:

DANIA BEACH, Fla. (AP) – A Florida woman faces an aggravated assault charge after authorities say she passed gas in line at a dollar store and pulled a knife on a man who complained about it.

Citing a Broward Sheriff’s Office report, the Miami Herald reports 37-year-old Shanetta Yvette Wilson passed gas while waiting in line at a Dollar General Sunday night and upset a nearby customer. The report says the offended customer and Wilson then got into an argument “in reference to the defendant farting loudly.”

It says Wilson then pulled a small folding knife out of her purse and told the victim she was going to “gut” him while moving as if to attack him. Wilson was arrested and charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill.

Records show she was given a $2,500 bond.

It’s unclear if she has a lawyer.

Consider yourself informed.  That is “Breaking Wind News” for today.  Good thing, once again, Broward Sheriff’s office was on top of the situation.

We go from passing off mysterious votes to the right to pass gas in public.

Only in Broward county.”…deadly weapon without intent to kill.” And how exactly do they know that? Did they think she was only a damsel-in-distress?

My next question is will this judge have to recuse himself for conflict of interest? Or will it have to be heard out of the area because she cannot get a fair trial in that court?

Maybe, just maybe, this case has gaseous civil right issues that could reach all the way to the Supreme Court? But special precautions will be needed in any courtroom.

No word from discredited Broward Sheriff, Scott Israel, if he stands behind her defense.

 

Dispatcher: “One Adam-12, One Adam-12, see the woman…public disturbance. Farts fired! Repeat, farts fired!…approach with caution. Backup needed!”

I thought the gas passed over midterm elections was bad!  Wow, a $2,500 fart.

 

Okay, Unit….I know it’s coming. It’s your home field. Let it rip! (pardon pun)

4 comments on “Gaseous Alert: S. Florida Area

  1. the unit says:

    Sorry to be several days late with response, been passed out from the effects of the gas attack. It was serious. Nothing to sniff at. I’m sure justice will be done in the court down there. Democrat area. Saw comment joke question today. Whats’ the difference between a democrat and a bucket of $h!t? Ans: The bucket.
    Yeah, that area quite a far piece from my area in FL, but son lives in Miami. So I smell that news pretty closely.
    🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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