Irishman raised by a Puerto Rican community that didn’t exist; turned into a truck driving, plagiarizing, lying son of a bitch with 3 college degrees. Married to a wife that calls Hispanics breakfast tacos. And moonlights as a mob boss tough guy, who wouldn’t know La Cosa Nostra from Costa Rico.
Who am I?
(I bet it was the breakfast tacos, wasn’t it?)
Right Ring 
Gotta be Robert Francis “Beto” O’Rourke, Texas twit who speaks fluent Dipshittish and fantasizes about being somebody of more than average importance. Possibly deranged and able to leap tall burritos in a single bound . . . more powerful than a popcorn fart . . . and faster than a chuckwagon.
Should be observed from beyond hearing range and approached only if armed with leaf blowers and ear protection. Considers MAGA an insidious disease which can be controlled only with tactical nuclear weapons. Could possibly be a valuable source of fertilizer for mushroom farms and machineel trees.
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Tactical nukes, eh? He’ll have a hard time getting them all at once. His battery is about to wear out, too. lol
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