The Biden Garage Meets Its Scandalous Fate

We are covering a breaking, fast moving story at the Biden Garage — now known as Garagegate — involving evolving details on a high-octane government documents scandal.

If you are following Biden’s latest fiasco: first my lawyers originally discovered some documents and contacted the archives. Then my lawyers advised me not to look at them.

Now it has all the classic details: a fast car, negligence, secrecy and Biden stupidity that we’ve come to expect from the gaffe machine. Oh and his trademark lies and coverup.

The question is how can a guy who cares nothing about protecting the border manage to secure his own garage? Well, who cares anyway, just like the border?

I’m being told by sources deep inside the Biden Garage that the Genie garage-door opener company will be subpoenaed to testify in a high-octane Special Counsel investigation scandal developing as we speak. But the need for speed was apparently not an issue since this scandal has been on slow burn since early November.

I have it on good authority that the glove box is not talking and the ’67 Corvette is remaining suspiciously silent. What happened?

But hold on there, if you are about to lose your mind then you are not alone.

The scenario summary in layman’s terms. Since Joey Bananas has never been especially challenged to stick to the facts, neither are we.

For instance, Joey might inadvertently keep some important documents in the glove box of his ’67 Corvette, you know…. right next to his designer aviators. All locked up of course.

Not like they were sitting there in the open! It’s not like the car was sitting in the street or the keys were in it. You didn’t know ’68 Vettes were notoriously secure, especially when safely parked in a garage. There’s no need to confiscate the Corvette then.

No, the alleged classified government documents were as secure as anything else in the Biden family, or its incestuous household. No one talks and no one loses their family shares in Biden Inc or family jewels. It’s just that simple.

Garages are not known for their security, you might say. But that’s the beauty of it; no one thinks to look in the garage or next to it for classified government documents. You got to keep up with the Bidens.

Did you see Joe’s bike ride at the beach in Delaware, and his space walk up the AF1 stairs? Joey’s very secure in his faculties and his faculty, like Penn’s, are very secure. Not a joke. You might checkout the sand castle Joey built on the beach, too, provided you can get past the new perimeter wall.

But take it from Joey: One of the things I like to do in my spare time at my home, besides tinkering with my Corvette, is read in my library to remember the good old days. When you didn’t have to pay ten bucks for an ice cream cone or ninety bucks to fill up your hot rod to have a good time.

There just isn’t enough time in the day to describe all the places Joe might stash some important government documents. So many possibilities. Sooner or later, Biden will fill in all the details…. or maybe not.

So a lock-down of the Biden Garage, the coveted Corvette and the resident gaffe machine will be ordered to avoid any potential conflict of interest.

What did Joe have to say regarding the pending special counsel appointment?

I have since been advised by counsel that no further comments are warranted, due to the ongoing investigation.

Only in the Biden family could the Garage get its own Special Counsel investigation. But a guy like Biden, with almost 50 years experience exclusively in government, could have the talent to pull off a Garagegate that even an AG Garland could not resist.

Well, unless it is all part of the perpetual coverup saga. Oh, the sordid details of the unprecedented era of Biden scandal to kick off a new year.

Live from Wilmington DE, it’s the latest Biden scandal — there is a party going on in Joe’s garage and Swat wasn’t invited. If you’re a Biden, you have to be different from everyone else in the neighborhood. Anyone else can have a classic car in the garage, but who can have classified documents in there too? Keeping up with the Bidens must be tough.

Joey Bananas might not be ready for prime time, but his garage is.
Little deuce coup[sic], you don’t know what I’ve got.

Think of it this way, Joe invented the first ever drive-in SCIF.
Do we need to see a driveway photo layout of documents? Just spare us the gaslighting.

Right Ring | Bullright | 2023