Obama’s confession apology

What Obama did not nor will not ever say:

(file this under dreams — if Obama is entitled to his frequent hallucinations, then allow me to have one.)

Hello, good morning.
I, Barack Obama, have a few things to just get off my chest.

Let me start with I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the delayed, late budget and that prompted some deeper thinking.

I’m sorry I did not cut the budget deficit in half in my first term, as I promised. I now regret not really trying. I admit it. I understand many people are disappointed with me; I am sincerely disappointed in me too. I promised a lot of things when I ran for president; where to begin? It was too many things. I could not possibly do all these things. I ask your forgiveness.

When I told you I was going to fundamentally change America, you starry-eyed people believed what you wanted but did not know what I meant by “transforming America”. I should be ashamed for not being clear, even though I always say “let me be clear”. Well, I’m still working on that shame quality. I have a lot to apologize for.

So I’m sorry that I let you down, I let myself down. I’m sorry that when I said I was going to change things you believed me. I bought into your hope in me. I regret taking this country for granted even while I was kicking and stepping on its throat. I realize I have been spoon fed and nurtured by some radical ideas and characters since I was weened.

I cannot change that now but I am working on it. I see the error in those views. I wish I had seen it earlier and acted on it. I did not.

I do not blame you people or Republicans for those errors. It was no one else’s fault but mine. I must accept responsibility for quite willingly seeking out those unsavory types to associate with. It was not your fault for questioning my ties and associations. And I do not blame those who knew or discovered my deep-seeded animosities for this country and its great people. I apologize for using that as a tool to propel my political status. I take responsibility for that.

People should question their political leaders and hold them accountable in word and deed. I thank you for being so gracious to me even while I did nothing to earn it — and to the media who stood by me. Thanks. I advanced myself by being critical of others and those in power. It’s my turn to be questioned accordingly, in the same measure I questioned and attacked others on my way up the ladder.

Let me say especially I am sorry to the wealthy people I demonized along the way. I really put undue blame on you when I should have been looking in the mirror at what I was really doing. I don’t blame you if you hold some skepticism toward me and my ideas. I will show you I do not feel bitter toward you.

I am also sorry to the poor in this country who I have extorted all along my path to the presidency. I have used you and purchased your vote to get where I am. Even if you do not want to believe that, it is true. I have also engaged in ugly class warfare that you and this country should not be engaged in. As a result, I have made people bitter — not healed it — as well as fueled deep division in this country. I have not made that better; I made it worse and I have used it for my own selfish ambitions to my personal gain. I am sorry.

One of the great things about this country has been the ability of people to take responsibility. So allow me to accept full responsibility for my actions, and show you I am just like all you great Americans out there who make this country great.  I realize America is not a nationality but also a state of mind. It alone cannot make people American, they must feel it too. I have a renewed feeling about what America is about. I now see why all you people were so concerned about me. You didn’t know me from Adam.

Speaking of introductions, I ran rather self-centered campaigns all my political life. I had no experience at running anything, not even a malt shop on the boardwalk. I had zero experience. I’m sorry for using my campaign as a resume.

While I am taking stock and responsibility to those I held so much bitter animosity for, I am indebted to this country now and into the future for the fame and fortune it brought me.  I am grateful and undeserving of all you pay and will pay to me and my family into the future. All the perks that I will continue to reap and enjoy far into the future exceeds what I deserve. I would like to say I earned it all but I did not, and it is gracious hospitality from this great country. I do not believe you owe me anything. I may not ever realize or understand just how much America has given me, but in the future I will never deny it.

In closing, I would like to address a subject important to many of your concerns, my basic records – long a controversial matter. So I would like to apologize for that issue too. I said “I’d like to…”. But therein is the problem. I am not going to talk about or release them. I would like to apologize for that, but I can’t. Did you really think I would apologize and disclose all those records buried in secrecy? I’m sort of sorry for the secrecy. I regret I cannot divulge them. Did you believe I would straighten that out?

So, as a result, I have changed my mind and retract my apologies… presidents can do that. Just for the record, pardon the pun, I am truly sorry for any interpretation of my words in any way other than my intent. You should know there are limits I can never cross, and my records are one of them. I ask for your forgiveness.

Did you believe that I would apologize then disclose all those records after all the trouble I went to in concealing them? Apparently you people really are as dumb as David Axelrod said you were. Since I cannot, I must retract my entire apology. Please understand I did not want to do this. I accept responsibility for this decision.

I sincerely apologize for any confusion this has caused. I just couldn’t do it. But I will not hold that against you if you cannot accept this… scratch that too. Remember, presidents can do that. I do love this country and its dumb people. You reinforced that when you elected and reelected me.

Please accept my words in the sincerity with which they were given.
I changed this country, not myself.

On a lighter note: I am still the person you elected.

Thank you,


Barack Hussein Obama , aka Barry Soetoro,
Harry Bounel, Campaigner-in-Chief et al.

PS. I do apologize on behalf of the Teleprompter.

9 comments on “Obama’s confession apology

  1. bullright says:

    JustGene sez:

    I apologize for being stupid enough to read the whole danm thing ! Have you been taking your meds properly?????


  2. clyde says:

    No question it’s a dream sequence. Narcissists NEVER admit THEY are the problem. That damned ol’totus anyway,tripping up our brave young president!! (pardon me while I go projectile vomit)


    • bullright says:

      Clyde, Yea its a real purge pusher. The very idea of him admitting anything is spooky. Truth can never come from his evil lips.

      Hey, you notice he’s blaming his absent budget on the sequester…Republicans again.


  3. bullright says:

    In January, he blamed the late budget on the “fiscal crisis”. Then he started blaming his late budget on the sequester before it went into effect.

    Carney said the sequester cuts have already exacted their toll on the operations of government, including the crafting of the White House budget, which is weeks late and now expected in March.
    “The series of manufactured crises around budget issues, certainly has resulted at least in part in those experts in the administration who work on those issues having to spend a lot of time dealing with those crises rather than on that,” he said. “But that’s part of the job, and they’re working on the budget.”


  4. Davetherave says:

    Bull, you channeled King Sumbitch’s worse nightmare! I’ve yet to hear him offer up a reason there was no budget his first two years of squatting his muzzie ass in the White Mosque. The damn Traitor Party controlled the Senate and House. Now all they do is demonize any budget put forth by Repukes, soooo there will still be no budget and half our country believes it’s the Repukes fault there is no budget.

    I’ve heard on several occasions the average reading age of Americans is sixth grade. I’m convinced that’s true and also the average IQ of Americans is as much in the red as our debt.


    • bullright says:

      Dave his budget is DOA anyhow, now he might as well wait to next year. Its always tee time, not Tea time. So true, he’s just a broken record. As soon as anyone proposes a plan hatchet man Obama comes out, he’s worse than Freddy Krueger and scarier. He picked the right low-information base, they don’t know enough to care.


  5. Just Gene says:

    A dream? a NIGHTMARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



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